Better Than Twilight

This saga I’m about to tell blows Twilight out of the water. But I’m on Team WhoGivesAHoot, so that’s probably not difficult by my standards.

Let me start off by defending my totally bad-ass husband, and add a disclaimer: the reason this project took so long is because of his long work hours (you know, at his real job), and the fact that neither of us had ever done this before. Learn from our mistakes, people. This is me, grabbing around your collar and shaking you vigorously: LEARN FROM OUR  MISTAKES.

Caulking. Hold your fire; you don’t have to make any jokes about that word because I used them all up throughout the course of this project. Black caulk, white caulk, your caulk is leaking… we have that topic covered.

This 11 day project started because of a simple problem: the old, dark green paint was left on all of the caulking around the entire master bathroom.

It wasn’t the painters fault – their job was to paint, not replace any caulk. It was really nobody’s fault, just something that happens when you switch from a saturated, dark color to a light and airy one.

It was all we could see when we looked at the bathroom.

Enter: the tools. I thought we would just buy this cute little yellow packet of tools, go to town, fix ‘er up, drink a margarita, and call it a day. And then unicorns were going to give me a manicure while I farted rainbows.

Ho, ho hooooo boy was I wrong.

This is me starting to scrape away the discolored caulk (::snicker::)

Yeah, plastic tools kinda suck. This is what I was left with:

Then steps in my beastly husband and his all-powerful tool set. I’m not even sure what tool he used. It looked like a chisel? I don’t know, anything past a hammer or a screwdriver and I’m basically nose down in a dictionary.

I can practically hear Tim the Tool Man Taylor grunting in the background. So, imagine this level of destruction, all the way around the bathroom. After some spackling and primer we were left with a pretty good-looking wall.

By this point a few days had gone by, and Steve attempted to paint the wall, and then run a bead of caulking along the seam. And wouldn’t you know it? IT DIDN’T WORK. Every single time he had problems. We realized it was because we weren’t taping off the walls to protect the paint from the caulk when it was spread, so he would rub the caulking off to try it again, and then all of the paint and primer and spackling would rub off. So, that step was completed multiple times. Frustrating. Very frustrating.

So, that being said, that’s where the majority of the extra days went. This project wouldn’t have taken so long if we would’ve just used the method below.

ATTENTION: USE THE METHOD BELOW (Please, please, please save yourself many gray hairs and loud bursts of profanity, and just follow the next few steps.)

Ok, so let’s pretend this is where we started. La Tee Daaa, here we are. The wall is spackled, and then was promptly primed and painted.

We taped off the wall to allow just a small crease where the caulking would go.

Excuse the terrible quality. I was zoomed in from across the room. I didn’t want to disturb the master. You know how you feel when you’re watching a superhero movie and you’re practically holding your breath during the epic fight scene at the end, afraid to breathe because you just want the good guy to win so badly? That’s how I felt watching Steve vs. The Caulking. And he totally won. It was awesome.

You can see why the tape was needed. This phase, where you spread out the caulk so it seals the crack, gets quite messy if you don’t have the tape. Steve totally owned this round.

While everything was still wet, he ripped that tape off. Well, more like gingerly pulled it up.


You guys, I seriously wasn’t sure if we were going to make it through this project. You ever have one of those ideas that you think is going to take you a day, and it turns out taking 11 days? ELEVEN DAYS. 11 days of spackling everywhere, drying paintbrushes cluttering the sinks, rollers, and tools strewn about the room. Yeah, I was over it. But I can’t even tell you how proud I am of my never-give-up lumberjack. Thanks to his patience this project is now over and looks truly incredible. I didn’t really do anything but wipe his sweat and snap a few photos. All the credit goes to Steve on this one.

The moral of this story is when the going gets tough give up and drink a cocktail keep trying until you get it right. It’ll happen.

The end.


2 thoughts on “Better Than Twilight

  1. Oh that is too funny! I HATE when the whole “this will take two minutes, oh looks it’s three weeks later” happens! It looks great though so good job!!! Live and learn friend, live and learn. =]

  2. OMG, I re-caulked the bathtub – remember that? I NEVER, EVER, EVER will do that again. And I did a crappy job because the caulking is coming up already. Sigh, if only I had a lumberjack at my house. Don’t tell my husband I said that cause he is under the misconception that he is handy.

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